1
00:00:12,222 --> 00:00:13,765
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:15,475
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,310
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:18,979
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:20,122
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,065
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,025
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:25,568
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:26,945
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,197
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:29,322 --> 00:00:32,033
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,451
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,495
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:38,142 --> 00:00:41,103
And so, in her career
filled with lies, back-stabbing
15
00:00:41,228 --> 00:00:42,521
and whoring herself
for money,
16
00:00:42,646 --> 00:00:44,690
she learned that
the price of fame can be
17
00:00:44,815 --> 00:00:47,943
pleasing 65 men at once
in a dark, dirty alley.
18
00:00:48,068 --> 00:00:51,363
And so ends Punky Brewster:
Behind the Blow.
19
00:00:51,488 --> 00:00:52,488
Whoa,
bummer, dude.
20
00:00:52,531 --> 00:00:54,074
Okay, dude,
it's 3:30.
21
00:00:54,199 --> 00:00:56,118
It's time for
The Terrance and Phillip Show.
22
00:00:56,243 --> 00:00:57,119
All: Yay!
23
00:00:57,244 --> 00:00:58,370
Excuse me, buddy.
24
00:00:58,495 --> 00:00:59,371
Why, did you fart?
25
00:00:59,496 --> 00:01:00,623
Oh no!
26
00:01:00,748 --> 00:01:01,892
Oh, man,
this is another rerun.
27
00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:03,417
Are you sure?
I haven't seen it.
28
00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:05,228
Yeah, fatass, this is their
famous mechanic sketch.
29
00:01:05,252 --> 00:01:06,837
I'm looking
for a mechanic.
30
00:01:06,962 --> 00:01:08,607
Can you tell me how
to get to the auto garage?
31
00:01:08,631 --> 00:01:10,483
Sure, buddy, all you need
to do is go down to the--
32
00:01:10,507 --> 00:01:13,344
[farts]
33
00:01:13,469 --> 00:01:14,595
and that's how you--
34
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:15,864
[together]
"get to the auto garage."
35
00:01:15,888 --> 00:01:17,306
Could you tell me
36
00:01:17,431 --> 00:01:18,825
how to get to the auto
garage without farting?
37
00:01:18,849 --> 00:01:20,225
Sure, you go the same way--
38
00:01:20,351 --> 00:01:21,745
"except stick your finger
up your ass."
39
00:01:21,769 --> 00:01:23,103
No, no, no.
40
00:01:23,228 --> 00:01:24,623
I mean could you tell me
the directions again
41
00:01:24,647 --> 00:01:25,814
without you farting?
42
00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:27,066
Oh, sure.
43
00:01:27,191 --> 00:01:28,525
Just stick your finger
up my ass.
44
00:01:28,651 --> 00:01:30,194
Alright,
no problem, buddy.
45
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,905
Now tell me how do I get to the
auto garage to see a mechanic?
46
00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:34,758
You're at the auto garage.
I am the mechanic.
47
00:01:34,782 --> 00:01:36,843
Why the heck didn't you tell
me you were the mechanic?
48
00:01:36,867 --> 00:01:38,053
"Because I had
an itch up my ass."
49
00:01:38,077 --> 00:01:39,317
Because I had
an itch up my ass.
50
00:01:39,411 --> 00:01:41,622
[laughing]
51
00:01:41,747 --> 00:01:42,748
[farts]
52
00:01:45,626 --> 00:01:47,266
Terrance and Phillip
will be right back...
53
00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:49,171
after these messages.
54
00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:50,965
When are they gonna
make new ones?
55
00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:53,068
Hey, kids, don't miss
the greatest event of the year.
56
00:01:53,092 --> 00:01:54,772
This Thursday night
at the Denver Coliseum,
57
00:01:54,802 --> 00:01:57,096
see Terrance and Phillip live
and in person.
58
00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:58,430
What's this?
59
00:01:58,555 --> 00:02:00,099
One night and one night only,
60
00:02:00,224 --> 00:02:01,826
see all your favorite
Terrance and Phillip bits live.
61
00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:03,102
Oh my God!
62
00:02:03,227 --> 00:02:04,353
You guys,
you guys!
63
00:02:04,478 --> 00:02:05,813
I know, I know.
64
00:02:05,938 --> 00:02:07,498
To order tickets,
call Ticket Slave now!
65
00:02:07,564 --> 00:02:09,324
Write the number down!
Write the number down!
66
00:02:09,358 --> 00:02:11,235
[school bell rings]
67
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,236
Dude, did you get 'em?
68
00:02:12,361 --> 00:02:14,029
I got 'em.
69
00:02:14,154 --> 00:02:15,590
Four tickets, 68th row
to Terrance and Phillip.
70
00:02:15,614 --> 00:02:16,883
I waited in line
since 3:00 this morning.
71
00:02:16,907 --> 00:02:18,617
Awesome,
give me mine.
72
00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:20,387
Wow, you guys are gonna see
Terrance and Phillip live?
73
00:02:20,411 --> 00:02:21,870
Yup, tomorrow night.
74
00:02:21,996 --> 00:02:23,789
Alright, children,
let's settle down.
75
00:02:23,914 --> 00:02:26,083
As you know,
this coming Friday is Earth Day,
76
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:27,668
and I'm pleased to announce
77
00:02:27,793 --> 00:02:29,461
that the national Earth Day
organization
78
00:02:29,586 --> 00:02:31,338
has chosen South Park
as its location
79
00:02:31,463 --> 00:02:33,424
for the Earth Day
Brainwashing Festival.
80
00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:35,050
All: Oh!
81
00:02:35,175 --> 00:02:37,195
The heads of the Earth Day
Brainwashing Organization
82
00:02:37,219 --> 00:02:39,888
are here to tell you
all about it.
83
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,974
Hello, children,
I know you're all very excited
84
00:02:42,099 --> 00:02:43,979
about having the Earth Day
Brainwashing Festival
85
00:02:44,101 --> 00:02:45,561
put on in your town.
86
00:02:45,686 --> 00:02:48,022
You care very much
about the Earth, don't you?
87
00:02:48,147 --> 00:02:49,648
All: yes.
88
00:02:49,773 --> 00:02:51,126
Good, because
it's up to all of you
89
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:53,527
to get lots of people to come
and make it look great.
90
00:02:53,652 --> 00:02:55,029
The festival is on Friday,
91
00:02:55,154 --> 00:02:57,489
so we'll start getting it ready
tomorrow night.
92
00:02:57,614 --> 00:02:59,033
What?
93
00:02:59,158 --> 00:03:00,868
We've all gotta
pitch in.
94
00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:02,929
I'm sorry, but the four of us
can't help tomorrow night.
95
00:03:02,953 --> 00:03:03,787
Yeah!
Yeah!
96
00:03:03,912 --> 00:03:05,789
You... what?
97
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:07,600
We got tickets to see
Terrance and Phillip live
98
00:03:07,624 --> 00:03:08,625
in Denver tomorrow night.
99
00:03:08,751 --> 00:03:09,418
We paid 40 bucks a piece
for them.
100
00:03:09,543 --> 00:03:10,836
And Terrance and Phillip
101
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:12,230
are more important than
Mother Earth?
102
00:03:12,254 --> 00:03:13,630
Well, yeah, dude.
103
00:03:13,756 --> 00:03:16,967
You don't care about
Terrance and Phillip.
104
00:03:17,092 --> 00:03:18,737
Nothing matters more than
saving the planet
105
00:03:18,761 --> 00:03:20,429
from Republicans.
106
00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:22,639
You don't need to see
Terrance and Phillip.
107
00:03:22,765 --> 00:03:24,850
No, dude,
we really, really do.
108
00:03:24,975 --> 00:03:27,186
Their will is strong.
109
00:03:27,311 --> 00:03:29,772
Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's
more important than Earth Day.
110
00:03:29,897 --> 00:03:30,564
Uh, but that's why
we're going.
111
00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:31,815
Huh?
112
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:33,126
See, we're the official
presidents
113
00:03:33,150 --> 00:03:34,377
of the Terrance
and Phillip Fan Club
114
00:03:34,401 --> 00:03:35,545
and we're going
to see them tomorrow
115
00:03:35,569 --> 00:03:36,588
'cause we can get them
to perform
116
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:38,030
at the Earth Day festival.
117
00:03:38,155 --> 00:03:39,549
You can get Terrance
and Phillip to perform?
118
00:03:39,573 --> 00:03:40,866
That would be great.
119
00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:42,594
Terrance and Phillip would
draw huge ratings
120
00:03:42,618 --> 00:03:44,286
from children
all over the country.
121
00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:46,723
Very well, kids, we'll work on
getting the event ready here
122
00:03:46,747 --> 00:03:48,147
and you go get
Terrance and Phillip.
123
00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:49,083
[all]
Alright!
124
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,709
But I warn you,
125
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,562
you better not promise things
to Earth Day people
126
00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:54,004
that you can't deliver.
127
00:03:54,129 --> 00:03:58,967
Earth Day people can be
very unforgiving.
128
00:03:59,093 --> 00:04:02,012
Heh-heh, no problem,
no problem.
129
00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:05,891
Ladies and gentlemen...
130
00:04:06,016 --> 00:04:07,643
[cheering]
131
00:04:07,768 --> 00:04:12,731
put your hands together
for Terrance!
132
00:04:12,856 --> 00:04:15,984
Hello, Denver!
133
00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:17,277
[scattered applause]
134
00:04:17,402 --> 00:04:18,546
Wow, dude,
Terrance got really fat.
135
00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:19,988
Yeah, he looks terrible.
136
00:04:20,114 --> 00:04:21,990
How are you all feeling
tonight, pretty good?
137
00:04:22,116 --> 00:04:23,534
Uh-oh.
[farts]
138
00:04:23,659 --> 00:04:24,827
[sparse laughter]
139
00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:26,870
Hey, do you all
remember this one?
140
00:04:26,995 --> 00:04:29,123
"Doctor, doctor,
I think I cracked my ass."
141
00:04:29,248 --> 00:04:30,791
Phillip,
"let me take a look."
142
00:04:30,916 --> 00:04:31,916
"Look closer."
143
00:04:31,959 --> 00:04:33,627
[farting and cackling]
144
00:04:33,752 --> 00:04:34,753
Uh...
145
00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:35,878
where the hell
is Phillip?
146
00:04:35,921 --> 00:04:37,589
Phillip, Phillip!
147
00:04:37,714 --> 00:04:39,133
[crowd chanting]
148
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:41,051
Phillip, Phillip,
Phillip, Phillip!
149
00:04:41,176 --> 00:04:43,238
And now, for some classic
Terrance and Phillip comedy.
150
00:04:43,262 --> 00:04:44,638
[cheering]
151
00:04:44,763 --> 00:04:45,763
Hello, Terrance.
152
00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:46,974
Hello, Phillip.
153
00:04:47,099 --> 00:04:48,308
Phillip?
That's not Phillip.
154
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:49,993
Say, Phillip,
I have a question for you.
155
00:04:50,102 --> 00:04:51,353
Okay, shoot.
156
00:04:51,478 --> 00:04:53,897
[farts]
157
00:04:54,022 --> 00:04:55,274
Dude, what the hell
is going on?
158
00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:56,483
Why'd they
replace Phillip?
159
00:04:56,608 --> 00:04:58,235
I think this
new guy's funny.
160
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,130
And now here's a classic
Terrance and Phillip sketch
161
00:05:00,154 --> 00:05:01,655
that I wrote back in '62.
162
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,866
Excuse me, sir,
do you know who farted?
163
00:05:03,991 --> 00:05:04,991
He sure did.
164
00:05:05,075 --> 00:05:06,618
What's the person's name?
165
00:05:06,743 --> 00:05:07,911
Who.
- The guy that farted?
166
00:05:08,036 --> 00:05:09,538
Who?
- The person that passed gas.
167
00:05:09,663 --> 00:05:11,206
Who passed gas?
168
00:05:11,331 --> 00:05:12,331
Now, why you
askin' me?
169
00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:13,416
That's the man's name.
170
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,501
That's whose name?
171
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:15,794
Yes!
172
00:05:15,919 --> 00:05:17,462
Something very terrible
has happened
173
00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:18,898
in the world
of Terrance and Phillip
174
00:05:18,922 --> 00:05:20,465
and we've got to
find out what.
175
00:05:20,591 --> 00:05:22,718
Look, buddy, all I'm trying
to find out is,
176
00:05:22,843 --> 00:05:24,219
what's the guy's name
that farted?
177
00:05:24,344 --> 00:05:25,822
What's the guy that
drank his own urine?
178
00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:26,847
Who?
179
00:05:29,975 --> 00:05:31,619
Come on, guys, we're getting
to the bottom of this.
180
00:05:31,643 --> 00:05:32,811
Excuse us.
181
00:05:32,936 --> 00:05:34,313
Where do you think
you're goin'?
182
00:05:34,438 --> 00:05:36,082
We have to talk to Terrance.
- Yeah, right.
183
00:05:36,106 --> 00:05:37,458
It's okay,
we're the Official Presidents
184
00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:38,358
of the Terrance
and Phillip Fan Club.
185
00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:40,485
Then get in the
186
00:05:40,611 --> 00:05:45,407
"Official President of Terrance
and Phillip Fan Club" line.
187
00:05:45,532 --> 00:05:47,159
Oh, dude.
Gay.
188
00:05:47,284 --> 00:05:48,493
You don't understand,
189
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:50,329
we saved Terrance
and Phillip's lives once.
190
00:05:50,454 --> 00:05:52,140
You and about a thousand other
people at one time or another.
191
00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:53,373
Now get outta my face.
192
00:05:53,498 --> 00:05:55,000
Redneck!
193
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:56,501
Man, this sucks.
194
00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:58,062
Are you guys official
presidents too?
195
00:05:58,086 --> 00:05:59,338
Don't talk to us, kid.
196
00:05:59,463 --> 00:06:01,173
Hey, look at that line,
it's way shorter.
197
00:06:01,298 --> 00:06:03,193
I don't think we're female
groupies or random sluts.
198
00:06:03,217 --> 00:06:04,760
Kenny's a random slut.
199
00:06:04,885 --> 00:06:06,571
Well, maybe we can sneak in
over there, come on.
200
00:06:06,595 --> 00:06:07,804
Shh.
201
00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:12,309
Mmm, mmm, yummy.
202
00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:14,102
It was so great
meeting you.
203
00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:15,747
I feel like we really
shared something.
204
00:06:15,771 --> 00:06:17,022
We sure did, Betty.
205
00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:18,398
Next!
206
00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:22,945
Hello, Terrance,
I'm such a huge fan.
207
00:06:23,070 --> 00:06:24,613
You're a huge fan,
alright.
208
00:06:24,738 --> 00:06:26,216
Could I just have you
sign my breasts?
209
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,532
What do I get in return?
210
00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:28,867
Whatever you want.
211
00:06:28,992 --> 00:06:30,869
Oh, yeah,
oh, that's good, baby.
212
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:32,305
Oh, Terrance, I love you.
I love you.
213
00:06:32,329 --> 00:06:34,873
I love you.
I love you.
214
00:06:34,998 --> 00:06:36,583
Man, it smells
down there.
215
00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:38,043
Jesus Christ,
that was fast.
216
00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:39,604
Well, what should we name it,
how 'bout Jerry?
217
00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:40,754
What the hell?
218
00:06:40,879 --> 00:06:41,940
Oh, wow,
we had quadruplets.
219
00:06:41,964 --> 00:06:43,173
Aah!
220
00:06:43,298 --> 00:06:44,716
We're not quadruplets,
Terrance.
221
00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:46,277
We snuck in that woman's
spandex to get in here.
222
00:06:46,301 --> 00:06:47,469
Oh, thank God.
223
00:06:47,594 --> 00:06:48,863
The last thing I need
is more kids.
224
00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:50,531
What do you want,
an autograph or something?
225
00:06:50,555 --> 00:06:52,015
No, it's more important
than that.
226
00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:53,910
Our school is putting on
a big show for Earth Day
227
00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:55,662
and we promised people
we could get you to perform.
228
00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:57,062
Earth Day, huh?
229
00:06:57,187 --> 00:06:57,938
That sounds like
a very noble cause.
230
00:06:58,063 --> 00:06:59,106
How much does it pay?
231
00:06:59,231 --> 00:07:01,316
But where's Phillip?
- Who?
232
00:07:01,441 --> 00:07:02,818
Phillip, your partner.
233
00:07:02,943 --> 00:07:04,295
Why is it that every time
somebody sees me,
234
00:07:04,319 --> 00:07:05,880
they have to say,
"hey, where's Phillip?"
235
00:07:05,904 --> 00:07:07,423
Like we're freakin' married
or something.
236
00:07:07,447 --> 00:07:09,567
Y'know, I'll let you tater tots
in on a little secret.
237
00:07:09,616 --> 00:07:11,285
Phillip is a hack.
238
00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:13,346
You know who wrote all
the Terrance and Phillip stuff?
239
00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,664
Me. Phillip never did anything
but read his lines.
240
00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:17,958
But the guy that
replaced him sucks.
241
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:20,419
I know.
I know he sucks.
242
00:07:20,544 --> 00:07:23,171
To be honest, things haven't
been going so well lately.
243
00:07:23,297 --> 00:07:24,589
I'm not making any money
244
00:07:24,715 --> 00:07:26,150
because everyone
wants to see Phillip.
245
00:07:26,174 --> 00:07:27,217
Why?
246
00:07:27,342 --> 00:07:28,677
What the hell
does Phillip do?
247
00:07:28,802 --> 00:07:30,405
Because, dude,
it's "Terrance and Phillip."
248
00:07:30,429 --> 00:07:31,596
Ugh, whatever.
249
00:07:31,722 --> 00:07:33,390
The point is,
Phillip and I are through
250
00:07:33,515 --> 00:07:35,934
and apparently so is the act
and so is the money.
251
00:07:36,059 --> 00:07:38,204
What if we can get Phillip
to agree to get back together?
252
00:07:38,228 --> 00:07:39,708
Will you do
the Earth Day show for us?
253
00:07:39,771 --> 00:07:41,690
Ha, good luck
getting Phillip.
254
00:07:41,815 --> 00:07:43,626
He left because he wanted
to do "more serious stuff."
255
00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:45,360
The last I heard
256
00:07:45,485 --> 00:07:46,879
he was doing Canadian
Shakespeare in Toronto.
257
00:07:46,903 --> 00:07:48,488
[mumbling]
Toronto?
258
00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:50,008
But we promised the Earth Day
people you'd perform.
259
00:07:50,032 --> 00:07:51,700
Well, in that case,
260
00:07:51,825 --> 00:07:54,065
I'd say you four boys are up
fart creek without a paddle.
261
00:07:57,289 --> 00:07:58,874
Work, work, children.
262
00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:01,877
We only have two more days
until Earth Day, work!
263
00:08:02,002 --> 00:08:04,129
Uh, excuse me,
my daddy is a geologist
264
00:08:04,254 --> 00:08:06,190
and he says there actually
isn't any concrete evidence
265
00:08:06,214 --> 00:08:07,674
of global warming.
266
00:08:07,799 --> 00:08:09,009
That's not true.
267
00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:11,011
Global warming
is going to kill us all.
268
00:08:11,136 --> 00:08:13,346
The Republicans
are responsible.
269
00:08:13,472 --> 00:08:14,973
Thank you.
270
00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:21,271
Oh no, dude.
271
00:08:21,396 --> 00:08:22,647
Oh, there you are boys.
272
00:08:22,773 --> 00:08:24,373
I need Terrance
and Phillip's information
273
00:08:24,483 --> 00:08:26,526
so I can tell them
their schedule.
274
00:08:26,651 --> 00:08:28,612
Uh, we didn't get them.
- You what?
275
00:08:28,737 --> 00:08:30,089
They're not together
anymore, dude.
276
00:08:30,113 --> 00:08:31,531
You better be joking.
277
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:32,884
We've already announced
their participation.
278
00:08:32,908 --> 00:08:34,409
Look, we could
probably get Terrance,
279
00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:35,970
but he'll be performing
with this other guy.
280
00:08:35,994 --> 00:08:37,704
You promised us
Terrance and Phillip.
281
00:08:37,829 --> 00:08:40,040
We, therefore, promised
the world Terrance and Phillip.
282
00:08:40,165 --> 00:08:42,125
You will get us
Terrance and Phillip or else.
283
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,585
But there's nothing
we can do.
284
00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:45,390
Phillip is doing
Shakespeare in Canada now.
285
00:08:45,420 --> 00:08:47,881
Then you better get your asses
to Canada and get him.
286
00:08:48,006 --> 00:08:49,508
We'll make travel arrangements.
287
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:52,052
Nothing is more important
than the environment, boys,
288
00:08:52,177 --> 00:08:54,429
Not even your lives.
289
00:08:55,555 --> 00:08:57,075
Well, guys,
I guess we're going to Canada.
290
00:08:57,099 --> 00:08:58,099
Sweet.
291
00:09:03,438 --> 00:09:04,731
Ugh!
Ah!
292
00:09:08,485 --> 00:09:09,504
Part them,
they are incensed.
293
00:09:09,528 --> 00:09:10,654
Nay, come again.
294
00:09:10,779 --> 00:09:12,114
Look to the queen
there, buddy.
295
00:09:12,239 --> 00:09:13,758
They bleed on both sides,
how is it, my Lord?
296
00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:15,242
How is it, Laertes?
297
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:16,677
Why, as a woodcock
to mine own springe, Osric,
298
00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:18,301
I am justly killed with
my own treachery.
299
00:09:18,411 --> 00:09:19,746
How does the queen?
300
00:09:19,871 --> 00:09:20,664
Hey, guy,
she swoons to see them bleed.
301
00:09:20,789 --> 00:09:23,083
[all sighing]
302
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:24,793
Oh, my dear, Hamlet,
I am poisoned.
303
00:09:24,918 --> 00:09:27,504
Oh, villainy,
ho, let the door be locked.
304
00:09:27,629 --> 00:09:29,089
Treachery, seek it out.
305
00:09:29,214 --> 00:09:31,341
It is here, Hamlet.
Hamlet, thou art slain.
306
00:09:31,466 --> 00:09:33,069
No medicine in the world
can do thee good.
307
00:09:33,093 --> 00:09:34,803
In thee there is not
half an hour of life.
308
00:09:34,928 --> 00:09:36,322
The treacherous instrument
is in thy hand,
309
00:09:36,346 --> 00:09:37,848
unbated and envenomed.
310
00:09:37,973 --> 00:09:39,653
The foul practice
hath turned itself on me.
311
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:41,685
Lo, here I lie
never to rise again.
312
00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,895
Thy mother's poisoned.
I can no more.
313
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:45,939
The king,
the king's to blame.
314
00:09:46,064 --> 00:09:47,440
the point,
envenomed too.
315
00:09:47,566 --> 00:09:49,860
Then, venom
to thy work, buddy!
316
00:09:49,985 --> 00:09:51,403
All: Treason, treason!
317
00:09:51,528 --> 00:09:53,131
Oh, yet defend me, friends,
I am but hurt.
318
00:09:53,155 --> 00:09:55,157
Here, thou incestuous,
murderous damned dane.
319
00:09:55,282 --> 00:09:57,159
Drink of this potion,
is thy union here?
320
00:09:57,284 --> 00:09:59,411
Follow my mother.
321
00:09:59,536 --> 00:10:01,580
He is served, it is
a poison tempered by himself.
322
00:10:01,705 --> 00:10:03,385
Exchange forgiveness with me,
noble Hamlet.
323
00:10:03,456 --> 00:10:05,216
Mine and my father's death
came not upon thee
324
00:10:05,292 --> 00:10:06,710
nor thine on me.
325
00:10:06,835 --> 00:10:09,045
Heaven make free of it,
I follow thee, guy.
326
00:10:09,171 --> 00:10:11,923
I am dead, Horatio,
wretched queen, adieu.
327
00:10:12,048 --> 00:10:14,128
You that look pale and tremble
at this chance, buddy,
328
00:10:14,217 --> 00:10:15,778
thou are but mutes
or audience to this act,
329
00:10:15,802 --> 00:10:17,387
had I but time--
330
00:10:17,512 --> 00:10:19,323
as this fell sergeant death
is strict in his arrest--
331
00:10:19,347 --> 00:10:21,391
oh, I could tell you, buddy,
but let it be.
332
00:10:21,516 --> 00:10:23,059
Horatio, I am dead.
333
00:10:23,185 --> 00:10:24,686
Thou livest, guy,
334
00:10:24,811 --> 00:10:26,622
report me and my cause aright
to the unsatisfied.
335
00:10:26,646 --> 00:10:28,064
Never believe it.
336
00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:29,709
I am more an antique Roman
than a dane.
337
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:31,401
Here's yet some
liquor left, buddy.
338
00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:33,695
Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ,
is this thing ever gonna end?
339
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:36,239
He has my dying voice, so
tell him with the occurrence
340
00:10:36,364 --> 00:10:37,782
more and less which
have solicited,
341
00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:39,993
the rest is silence.
342
00:10:40,118 --> 00:10:42,287
Now cracks a noble heart,
good night, sweet prince
343
00:10:42,412 --> 00:10:44,412
and flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest, buddy.
344
00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:47,000
Phillip, Phillip!
- Yes?
345
00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:48,627
Our town in Colorado
was chosen
346
00:10:48,752 --> 00:10:49,770
to host Earth Day this year
and we need a big act.
347
00:10:49,794 --> 00:10:51,254
Oh, really?
348
00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:52,255
This run of Hamlet
is closing down, I'm afraid,
349
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:53,840
we could take it there.
350
00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:55,651
Uh, well we were thinking
how cool it would be
351
00:10:55,675 --> 00:10:57,445
if you and Terrance got
back together for a reunion--
352
00:10:57,469 --> 00:10:59,012
Stop right there!
353
00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:01,057
I'm not doin' nothin'
with that fatass egomaniac.
354
00:11:01,181 --> 00:11:02,641
But we need you.
355
00:11:02,766 --> 00:11:04,493
I'm sick of him
taking credit for all the work
356
00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:05,786
and not letting me
change the act.
357
00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:06,686
It's old and stale.
358
00:11:06,811 --> 00:11:07,979
I mean, do you really think
359
00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:09,457
that fart jokes
are funny for that long?
360
00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:10,690
[farts and laughs]
361
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:11,959
Look, if you don't come
and do the show,
362
00:11:11,983 --> 00:11:13,183
I'll make you
eat your parents.
363
00:11:13,276 --> 00:11:14,110
Yeah, whatever kid.
364
00:11:14,236 --> 00:11:15,111
He'll do it, dude.
365
00:11:15,237 --> 00:11:17,030
Uh, look, Phillip.
366
00:11:17,155 --> 00:11:18,257
Everyone in South Park just
wants to see your serious side.
367
00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:19,866
What?
What?
368
00:11:19,991 --> 00:11:21,552
They told us, "that Phillip,
he's the one with talent.
369
00:11:21,576 --> 00:11:23,054
Just get him for Earth Day."
- Really?
370
00:11:23,078 --> 00:11:25,056
Well that sounds interesting,
how much does it pay?
371
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,249
$2,000.
- I'm in!
372
00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:29,751
Here, call me at this number
with the details, gotta run.
373
00:11:29,876 --> 00:11:31,836
Dude, you didn't tell him
Terrance would be there.
374
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,397
I didn't say he wouldn't
be there, either.
375
00:11:33,421 --> 00:11:34,899
Look, all we have to do
is get them there, right?
376
00:11:34,923 --> 00:11:36,442
Once Terrance and Phillip
get together again,
377
00:11:36,466 --> 00:11:37,676
it'll be like old times.
378
00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:39,552
Oh, Kyle, you just made
a huge withdrawal
379
00:11:39,678 --> 00:11:41,680
at the "First Bank of Lies."
380
00:11:41,805 --> 00:11:43,056
It'll--it'll be okay.
381
00:11:46,935 --> 00:11:48,270
Work faster.
382
00:11:48,395 --> 00:11:52,649
Faster, children,
Earth Day is coming.
383
00:11:52,774 --> 00:11:54,025
Well, boys,
it's rehearsal time
384
00:11:54,150 --> 00:11:56,152
and your Terrance and Phillip
haven't shown up.
385
00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:57,404
They said they'd come.
386
00:11:57,529 --> 00:11:58,756
I'm sure they'll
be here any minute.
387
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,448
Maybe you kids don't
understand
388
00:12:00,573 --> 00:12:03,159
how important Earth Day is
for the future of our planet.
389
00:12:03,285 --> 00:12:04,485
Maybe you need
some convincing.
390
00:12:04,577 --> 00:12:05,453
Karl.
391
00:12:05,578 --> 00:12:06,454
Ahh!
392
00:12:06,579 --> 00:12:08,206
Oh, my God!
393
00:12:08,331 --> 00:12:09,433
Excuse me, is this where
the Earth Day crap is happening?
394
00:12:09,457 --> 00:12:10,875
He's here.
395
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,836
Oh, very good.
Mr. Phillip, I'm Jack Forest,
396
00:12:12,961 --> 00:12:14,421
head of the Earth Day
committee.
397
00:12:14,546 --> 00:12:16,482
Thank you for being a part
of this important event.
398
00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:17,632
Whatever,
where's my check?
399
00:12:17,757 --> 00:12:19,384
Alright, I'm here,
where do I--
400
00:12:19,509 --> 00:12:20,927
what's he doing here?
401
00:12:21,052 --> 00:12:22,512
Alright,
let's do a rehearsal
402
00:12:22,637 --> 00:12:24,397
so that the camera crew
can get a look at it.
403
00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:27,976
Wow, isn't this great,
404
00:12:28,101 --> 00:12:29,561
You guys seeing each other
again?
405
00:12:29,686 --> 00:12:31,289
Yeah, you must have
a lot of catching up to do
406
00:12:31,313 --> 00:12:32,605
but let's rehearse first.
407
00:12:32,731 --> 00:12:34,208
So, this is your doing,
huh, Terrance?
408
00:12:34,232 --> 00:12:35,608
My doing?
409
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,534
These kids called me
and said it was your idea
410
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:38,987
and that you wanted
to apologize.
411
00:12:39,112 --> 00:12:40,631
Please, you guys,
this is for Earth Day.
412
00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:43,199
You care about Mother Earth,
don't you?
413
00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:44,534
Well, what the hell?
414
00:12:44,659 --> 00:12:46,202
I already flew
all the way out here.
415
00:12:46,328 --> 00:12:47,972
But I want my check made out
to me, not both of us.
416
00:12:47,996 --> 00:12:49,956
Ditto!
- Fine.
417
00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:51,833
See, I told you
it would work.
418
00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:53,936
Alright, we'll come off
the speech of the dying whales
419
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,712
and then, action.
420
00:12:55,837 --> 00:12:57,756
Doctor, doctor,
I've cracked my ass.
421
00:12:57,881 --> 00:12:58,921
Really?
Let me take a look.
422
00:12:58,965 --> 00:12:59,965
Look closer.
423
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:01,676
[farts]
424
00:13:01,801 --> 00:13:03,970
[laughing nervously]
425
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:05,889
Yon fart doth smell
of elderberry sweet--
426
00:13:06,014 --> 00:13:07,640
That's not the line, asshole.
427
00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:09,201
You're right,
it's a better one, asshole.
428
00:13:09,225 --> 00:13:10,602
Just do the bit right,
dick face!
429
00:13:10,727 --> 00:13:11,871
Why don't you go
eat some more pudding,
430
00:13:11,895 --> 00:13:13,396
you fatass drug addict!
431
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:15,416
I may be fat, but at least
I didn't get hair plugs.
432
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,858
That's it!
433
00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:18,627
I ain't doin' nothin'
with "Kooko the Whale"!
434
00:13:18,651 --> 00:13:20,987
I never needed you
in the first place, you hack!
435
00:13:21,112 --> 00:13:23,365
You can't leave,
the show starts soon.
436
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:27,035
Boys, you've got three hours
to get those two back together.
437
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,929
Do I need to remind you
what will happen if you don't?
438
00:13:28,953 --> 00:13:29,996
Karl!
439
00:13:30,121 --> 00:13:31,289
Owww!
440
00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:33,249
You bastards.
- Good luck, boys.
441
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:35,543
We've got to get them
back together, you guys.
442
00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:36,795
They could
do this to us!
443
00:13:41,048 --> 00:13:42,688
Tom, I'm standing
in South Park, Colorado,
444
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,386
where Earth Day 2001
is in full force.
445
00:13:45,511 --> 00:13:47,263
Environmental awareness
games, booths
446
00:13:47,388 --> 00:13:49,265
and of course,
the entertainment on stage
447
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,392
which is being broadcast live
all over the country.
448
00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:54,728
This eco-happy crowd is thrilled
and waiting in anticipation
449
00:13:54,854 --> 00:13:56,939
for the arrival
of Terrance and Phillip,
450
00:13:57,064 --> 00:13:59,567
who were promised
by these four boys.
451
00:13:59,692 --> 00:14:01,652
What a touching
and true song.
452
00:14:01,777 --> 00:14:05,156
You know it's true, Republicans
are ruining the earth.
453
00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:07,575
Crowd: Republicans
are ruining the earth.
454
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,285
Alright.
455
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:11,221
Well, I think I know why
most you tuned in today.
456
00:14:11,245 --> 00:14:13,164
How about some
Earth Day entertainment?
457
00:14:13,289 --> 00:14:18,169
[cheers and applause]
458
00:14:18,294 --> 00:14:21,297
Hooray for the Earth,
we must protect it.
459
00:14:21,422 --> 00:14:22,882
And now, as promised,
460
00:14:23,007 --> 00:14:28,179
Here are Terrance
and Phillip... on video.
461
00:14:28,304 --> 00:14:31,557
On video?
462
00:14:31,682 --> 00:14:34,185
They were considered the best
comedy act in all of Canada,
463
00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:36,061
but a fast-paced rocket ride
to success
464
00:14:36,187 --> 00:14:38,480
would bring them
to the depths of despair.
465
00:14:38,606 --> 00:14:41,650
This is Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow.
466
00:14:41,775 --> 00:14:43,110
All: Wow.
467
00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:44,945
What the hell
do you call this?
468
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,750
It's Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow.
469
00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:48,199
I taped it last month.
470
00:14:48,324 --> 00:14:49,992
We promised people
Terrance and Phillip,
471
00:14:50,117 --> 00:14:51,535
not a video documentary.
472
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:54,038
You've ruined the Earth
for the last time, boys!
473
00:14:55,748 --> 00:14:57,708
All: Aah!
474
00:14:57,833 --> 00:14:59,960
Terrance was born
"Terrance Henry Stute"
475
00:15:00,085 --> 00:15:02,129
in the small Canadian village
of Toronto.
476
00:15:02,254 --> 00:15:03,714
At a very early age,
477
00:15:03,839 --> 00:15:05,639
his parents noticed
an uncanny musical ability
478
00:15:05,716 --> 00:15:07,051
and decided to enroll him
479
00:15:07,176 --> 00:15:09,386
in the Canadian school
for gifted babies.
480
00:15:09,511 --> 00:15:12,389
It was here that he partnered up
with Phillip Niles Argyle,
481
00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:14,850
a brash young baby
from Montreal.
482
00:15:14,975 --> 00:15:17,061
Together,
they performed musical acts
483
00:15:17,186 --> 00:15:18,729
that stunned Canadians
everywhere.
484
00:15:18,854 --> 00:15:20,356
At the tender age of six,
485
00:15:20,481 --> 00:15:22,691
Terrance and Phillip
were off to the United States
486
00:15:22,816 --> 00:15:24,777
to perform on
the Ed Sullivan Show
487
00:15:24,902 --> 00:15:27,029
where American audiences
would be exposed to Canadians
488
00:15:27,154 --> 00:15:29,073
for the first time.
489
00:15:29,198 --> 00:15:30,407
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
490
00:15:30,532 --> 00:15:32,952
we have two adorable little boys
from Canada.
491
00:15:33,077 --> 00:15:34,277
Please put your hands together
492
00:15:34,328 --> 00:15:36,580
for the music
of young Terrance and Phillip.
493
00:15:36,705 --> 00:15:38,165
[applause]
494
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,559
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
495
00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:40,936
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
496
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,229
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
497
00:15:42,253 --> 00:15:44,838
♪ Don't you love that
chicken and ham ♪
498
00:15:44,964 --> 00:15:46,524
Oh, my God, what's wrong
with their heads?
499
00:15:46,548 --> 00:15:48,342
It's alright, darling,
they're just Canadian.
500
00:15:48,467 --> 00:15:49,635
Oh.
501
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,095
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
502
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,239
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
503
00:15:52,263 --> 00:15:53,531
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
504
00:15:53,555 --> 00:15:55,015
♪ Don't you love my
chicken and ham ♪
505
00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:57,851
the Canadian act confused
American audiences,
506
00:15:57,977 --> 00:15:59,561
but then something happened
507
00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:02,439
that would change Terrance
and Phillip's act forever.
508
00:16:02,564 --> 00:16:05,067
[farts]
509
00:16:05,192 --> 00:16:07,194
[laughter and applause]
510
00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,574
[farts]
511
00:16:14,326 --> 00:16:16,328
It was the birth
of Canadian comedy.
512
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:17,955
Terrance and Phillip
513
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,849
spent the next several years
perfecting their art
514
00:16:19,873 --> 00:16:23,585
and meeting some of America's
most influential people.
515
00:16:23,711 --> 00:16:25,230
Excuse me,
which way is the bus station?
516
00:16:25,254 --> 00:16:26,574
Hey, you're the guy
on the screen.
517
00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:28,465
What?
518
00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:30,467
But it was in 1974
on the Sonny and Cher Show
519
00:16:30,592 --> 00:16:31,969
that Terrance and Phillip
520
00:16:32,094 --> 00:16:33,655
finally started to mix
their Canadian humor
521
00:16:33,679 --> 00:16:35,973
with deep political insight.
522
00:16:36,098 --> 00:16:37,766
You know, Cher,
a lot of us real Americans
523
00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:39,310
don't know much
about Canada.
524
00:16:39,435 --> 00:16:40,811
Well, all of us
real Americans
525
00:16:40,936 --> 00:16:43,981
aren't as stupid
and short as you.
526
00:16:44,106 --> 00:16:45,607
Please put your
groovy hands together
527
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:47,735
for the young and talented
Terrance and Phillip.
528
00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:50,612
[cheers and applause]
529
00:16:50,738 --> 00:16:52,298
Say, Terrance,
I'm getting worried aboot
530
00:16:52,364 --> 00:16:53,866
all these Russians
making missiles.
531
00:16:53,991 --> 00:16:55,492
Maybe we should
stop this "Cold War."
532
00:16:55,617 --> 00:16:58,704
Here's a missile for ya.
[farts]
533
00:16:58,829 --> 00:16:59,830
That's better.
534
00:16:59,955 --> 00:17:04,126
[farting and cackling]
535
00:17:07,671 --> 00:17:10,007
With this bold mix
of humor and political insight,
536
00:17:10,132 --> 00:17:12,301
the world couldn't get enough
of Terrance and Phillip,
537
00:17:12,426 --> 00:17:14,136
but their fame
would come at a price
538
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,638
when Behind the Blow continues.
539
00:17:16,764 --> 00:17:18,474
Okay, okay,
I think we lost 'em.
540
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:20,559
Jesus, man, those Earth people
don't screw around.
541
00:17:20,684 --> 00:17:22,394
Kyle, none of this
would be happening
542
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:23,872
if you hadn't lied
in the first place.
543
00:17:23,896 --> 00:17:25,856
You lied and then you lied
to cover up your lies.
544
00:17:25,981 --> 00:17:27,941
I didn't see you complaining
at the time, fat boy!
545
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:30,211
Guys, we have no choice,
we're gonna have to move away.
546
00:17:30,235 --> 00:17:32,047
Environmental activists
don't use logic or reason.
547
00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:34,531
There they are!
548
00:17:34,656 --> 00:17:36,241
Ahh!
549
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:38,184
[shouting]
550
00:17:38,185 --> 00:17:40,479
As they entered
their late teens,
551
00:17:40,604 --> 00:17:42,082
Terrance and Phillip
were already starting to taste
552
00:17:42,106 --> 00:17:43,232
the sweet milk of success,
553
00:17:43,357 --> 00:17:44,942
but the price of fame
was looming
554
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:48,070
as Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow continues.
555
00:17:48,195 --> 00:17:49,515
The '70s and '80s
were a good time
556
00:17:49,613 --> 00:17:50,990
for young Terrance and Phillip.
557
00:17:51,115 --> 00:17:52,555
Their act on
The Donny and Marie Show
558
00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,285
won them
a Nobel Peace Prize.
559
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:56,120
They were on the cover
of every magazine.
560
00:17:56,245 --> 00:17:57,913
And then in 1998,
561
00:17:58,038 --> 00:18:00,207
even a Saturday morning
cartoon was made
562
00:18:00,332 --> 00:18:01,959
based on Terrance and Phillip.
563
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:04,128
Terrance and Phillip themselves
supplied the voices.
564
00:18:04,253 --> 00:18:05,587
Say, Terrance,
what should we do
565
00:18:05,713 --> 00:18:07,393
aboot this strange planet
we've crashed on?
566
00:18:07,506 --> 00:18:09,258
I don't know, Phillip.
567
00:18:09,383 --> 00:18:11,194
It seems like the alien species
here breathe an inert gas.
568
00:18:11,218 --> 00:18:12,862
Uh-oh, did you say
what I thought you said?
569
00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:14,888
[fart and laughing]
570
00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:16,807
As leader of
the Goat People,
571
00:18:16,932 --> 00:18:18,934
I have seen my species
nearly wiped out
572
00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:20,519
by your dangerous gas.
573
00:18:20,644 --> 00:18:22,146
Wow, that sucks.
574
00:18:22,271 --> 00:18:23,397
[farts]
575
00:18:23,522 --> 00:18:25,065
The cartoon was
such a huge success
576
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,459
that it started to breed
confusion
577
00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:28,027
over whether
Terrance and Phillip
578
00:18:28,152 --> 00:18:30,362
were animated characters
or real people.
579
00:18:30,487 --> 00:18:32,781
And so in 1998,
the comedy team started work
580
00:18:32,906 --> 00:18:35,135
on what they thought would be
their greatest achievement,
581
00:18:35,159 --> 00:18:36,577
a made-for-TV movie
582
00:18:36,702 --> 00:18:38,422
written by and starting
Terrance and Phillip
583
00:18:38,537 --> 00:18:40,789
called Not Without My Anus.
584
00:18:40,914 --> 00:18:42,499
It was their biggest project
to date,
585
00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,686
but it had the misfortune
of being scheduled on a night
586
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:47,046
when a different and more
popular television show,
587
00:18:47,171 --> 00:18:50,174
the John Schneider Variety Hour
was supposed to air.
588
00:18:50,299 --> 00:18:51,859
When fans tuned in
to see John Schneider
589
00:18:51,967 --> 00:18:54,720
and instead were treated to
the Canadian made-for-TV movie,
590
00:18:54,845 --> 00:18:57,431
they were enraged, bewildered,
and scared.
591
00:18:57,556 --> 00:18:59,725
The fans revolted
and burned down the network,
592
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:03,020
killing six television producers
and wounding 12 others.
593
00:19:03,145 --> 00:19:05,397
The hatred of
Terrance and Phillip had begun.
594
00:19:05,522 --> 00:19:07,274
Terrance fell into
a deep depression
595
00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:09,109
and started abusing
wood polish.
596
00:19:09,234 --> 00:19:10,861
Phillip beat up
an angry six-year-old fan
597
00:19:10,986 --> 00:19:12,529
and was sued for
$6 million.
598
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:15,074
It was the first time
the duo tasted failure
599
00:19:15,199 --> 00:19:16,950
and it nearly
killed them both.
600
00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:19,244
What's going on here?
601
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:22,956
Shh, we're watchin'
Behind the Blow.
602
00:19:23,082 --> 00:19:25,793
Come on, Kenny,
hurry up!
603
00:19:25,918 --> 00:19:28,337
After years of depression
and suicide attempts,
604
00:19:28,462 --> 00:19:30,839
Terrance and Phillip
finally decided to get together
605
00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:32,633
for one last film,
606
00:19:32,758 --> 00:19:36,178
the 1999 smash hit
Asses of Fire.
607
00:19:36,303 --> 00:19:38,281
It was one of the highest
grossing films of the summer.
608
00:19:38,305 --> 00:19:39,598
And though
the film also started
609
00:19:39,723 --> 00:19:41,600
the Canadian-American
war of 1999
610
00:19:41,725 --> 00:19:43,565
in which eight million people
lost their lives,
611
00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:45,813
the film was
considered a great success.
612
00:19:45,938 --> 00:19:48,148
After almost being executed
by the American government,
613
00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:50,377
Terrance and Phillip were
eventually returned to Canada
614
00:19:50,401 --> 00:19:52,152
where they were touted
as heroes.
615
00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:53,987
They had been to hell and back,
616
00:19:54,113 --> 00:19:56,615
through the very best and the
very worst of times together,
617
00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,118
but they had seen it through,
and so ends
618
00:19:59,243 --> 00:20:01,662
Terrance and Phillip:
Behind the Blow.
619
00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:03,455
[cheering]
620
00:20:04,415 --> 00:20:05,666
Terrance.
621
00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:07,102
Oh, Phillip,
you're still here too.
622
00:20:07,126 --> 00:20:08,544
I was just
watching this video.
623
00:20:08,669 --> 00:20:11,255
You know, I've never
seen it before.
624
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,465
Me neither.
625
00:20:13,590 --> 00:20:15,634
We sure did go through
a lot together.
626
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:18,345
We sure did.
627
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:19,680
Terrance, I--
628
00:20:19,805 --> 00:20:21,223
Don't, no, Phillip,
don't say it.
629
00:20:21,348 --> 00:20:22,784
I was an asshole,
this is mostly my fault.
630
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:24,309
That's what
I was gonna say,
631
00:20:24,435 --> 00:20:27,438
You're an asshole and
this was mostly your fault.
632
00:20:27,563 --> 00:20:30,065
But you were always the more
artistically driven of us.
633
00:20:30,190 --> 00:20:31,750
I should've put more
into it than I did.
634
00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:32,901
No, Phillip.
635
00:20:33,026 --> 00:20:34,346
I really thought
I did everything,
636
00:20:34,403 --> 00:20:37,489
until I tried
to do it alone.
637
00:20:37,614 --> 00:20:40,659
[farts slowly]
638
00:20:40,784 --> 00:20:42,619
[laughs]
639
00:20:42,744 --> 00:20:44,830
[laughs]
640
00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:50,794
Think of all
the endangered species
641
00:20:50,919 --> 00:20:52,421
that will now vanish
because of you.
642
00:20:52,546 --> 00:20:53,546
Karl!
643
00:20:55,215 --> 00:20:56,842
So long, boys.
644
00:20:56,967 --> 00:20:57,967
Wait,
dude, look.
645
00:20:58,051 --> 00:21:00,596
[applause]
646
00:21:00,721 --> 00:21:02,389
Thank you, everyone,
thank you.
647
00:21:02,514 --> 00:21:04,534
You know, Phillip and I have
learned an important lesson,
648
00:21:04,558 --> 00:21:06,244
that when you go
through a lot with somebody,
649
00:21:06,268 --> 00:21:07,988
you can't let trite things
come between you.
650
00:21:08,103 --> 00:21:09,229
That's right, Terrance.
651
00:21:09,354 --> 00:21:10,373
You should only let
trite things
652
00:21:10,397 --> 00:21:11,940
come between your ass cheeks.
653
00:21:12,065 --> 00:21:13,734
[farting and laughing]
Oh, no!
654
00:21:13,859 --> 00:21:14,859
They're back.
655
00:21:14,943 --> 00:21:15,819
Alright!
656
00:21:15,944 --> 00:21:18,197
Yes, Earth Day is saved, boys.
657
00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:19,740
Everything worked out
after all.
658
00:21:19,865 --> 00:21:21,325
It sure did.
659
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:23,010
Look, Kenny,
everything turned out okay.
660
00:21:23,076 --> 00:21:24,620
[mumbles]
661
00:21:24,745 --> 00:21:26,097
Say, Terrance,
can you tell me who farted?
662
00:21:26,121 --> 00:21:27,581
He sure did, Phillip.
663
00:21:27,706 --> 00:21:29,333
No, I'm asking you
his name.
664
00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:31,627
And so Terrance and Phillip
got back together,
665
00:21:31,752 --> 00:21:33,629
proving once and for all
that fame and fortune
666
00:21:33,754 --> 00:21:35,589
are never as important
as friendship.
667
00:21:35,714 --> 00:21:37,174
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
668
00:21:37,299 --> 00:21:38,568
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
669
00:21:38,592 --> 00:21:39,736
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
670
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,862
♪ Don't they love that
chicken and ham ♪
671
00:21:40,886 --> 00:21:44,890
[clapping]
672
00:21:45,015 --> 00:21:46,433
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
673
00:21:46,558 --> 00:21:47,577
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
674
00:21:47,601 --> 00:21:48,912
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
675
00:21:48,936 --> 00:21:50,121
♪ Don't they love that
chicken and ham ♪
676
00:21:50,145 --> 00:21:51,438
♪ Beef and lamb
chicken and ham ♪
677
00:21:51,563 --> 00:21:52,582
♪ Step to the left
and clap your hands ♪
678
00:21:52,606 --> 00:21:54,046
♪ Gosh we love that
chicken and ham ♪
679
00:21:54,149 --> 00:21:54,399
♪ Don't they love that
chicken and ham ♪
680
00:21:54,525 --> 00:21:55,525
[farting]